12/5/09

Women = Crazy

The definitive women are crazy theory


I'm a young man and still relatively new to the marriage thing (just over four years), and yet there are certain things I know to be fact from what I have learned in my brief time on this earth. Women are crazy. I know, it's a blanket statement and perhaps unfair, yet the truth isn't always fair. Women are indeed straight, all-out, jack nuts!
Therefore our responsibility as family men (if that's the path we choose) is to find a good woman that you believe to be least crazy, marry her, and never, never cheat ... ever. Not if you know what’s good for you.
Don't believe me? Let me cite two very high profile examples, which highlights two different subtopics of the now famous (self-proclaimed) "Women are Crazy" theory.

Subtopic 1: Cheating increases the chance of finding crazy

Steve McNair. Need I say more? Now the sad story of Mr. McNair isn't an original story, it's happened hundreds, probably thousands of times before. McNair was highly regarded professional football quarterback for many years. Squeaky image, family man, overall good guy. McNair decided to get involved with another woman. She got attached and believed that she was McNair's future. When the doubt crept in that perhaps she wasn't, she shot him, and herself.
See, McNair had least crazy with his wife. Seemed to be a great gal. Was good at suppressing her inherent crazy, and that's what were all looking for in a woman. But McNair went out and found another woman, one who was inflicted with a severe case of complete crazy. He found crazy, and now he's dead.

Subtopic 2: Cheating awakens suppressed crazy

This one's easy ... Tiger Woods. I'm in no way saying Elin is any more crazy than the nominal level of crazy within all women. I'm also not saying she wasn't within her right to get thrown into a tailspin of awakened crazy. It's his fault ... period. Elin again seemed normal, under the previous stated definition of normal. But when she found out her Golden Boy was swinging his putter toward other holes, all hell broke loose. Did she slap him? Maybe ... justified. Did she trash the house? Maybe ... justified. Did she chase him out of the house with a golf club causing Tiger to crash his car? Maybe ... crazy! See there it is, Tiger unlocked crazy. Now it's going to cost him his reputation, his legacy (to an extent) and more money than and entire production model run or Cadillacs. Tiger may have become the first athlete to make a billion bucks but thanks to his "transgressions" Elin may become the first Billionaire-by-divorce. Way to fund crazyism, Tiger.
I honestly hope the Tiger story ends better than the McNair story. But it's going to be a long way back before either of them will be where they were three years ago. And that goes for Tiger professionally, too. This may change him as a golfer.

Summary

Despite the humorous tone of the commentary, I'm honestly not making light of either of these situations, they are both horrible situations, and true none of us are perfect. But this is the easiest life-altering action you can avoid. It happens, I know. It happens every day all over this world, but if you took the vows, honor them. If you don't want to honor them, don't take them. Unless you want to find crazy. And to those who married into crazy and didn’t know it, well you won’t have to cheat to awaken crazy. It may be as simple as leaving the toilet seat up. In these situations, unfortunately crazy will find you. You can't completely avoid it, but hopefully you can keep yourself out of its way.